I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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