You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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