Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Who died my cat blue again?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
