official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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