plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
