I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
