I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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