her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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