and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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