there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
