yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
