finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
