Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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