This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
why is half of my head shaved?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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