You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
