"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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