Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
