these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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