Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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