Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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