Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
