Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
