so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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