i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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