I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize