Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
