I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
