her vagina looked like bernie madoff
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
