Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
