saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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