My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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