I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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