we have officially mastered the walk of shame
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
