sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
