I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize