I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
