I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize