The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
