oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I wear drunk well.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
