I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
