remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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