I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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