i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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