girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
