thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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