I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize