And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
