I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
