so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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