why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
