lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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