Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
