There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
