Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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