So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
