Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
