I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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